Am I on a roll yet? How many days constitutes a "roll", I wonder? Why aren't there gossip rags for our favorite comic characters? Don't they deserve to have their private lives ripped open and served to the public like the steaming entrails of some sacrifical beast? Why only "living" humans? There's something vaguely discriminatory about all of this. I hope Cathy appreciates what I'm doing. "I'm a real imaginary person," she said. "What do I have to do to get noticed by People, or Us, or We, or Star magazine?" Don't worry Cathy. We're working on it.