To the Victor Goes the Spoiled

Comic artists across the globe are protesting - lawyers say in vain - at the recent acquisition by Clear Channel Communications Corporation of many "visual shorthand" images previously believed to be in the public domain for those who draw cartoons and comic strips.

A spokesperson for Clear Channel has announced that forthwith, any artist using following images must now pay royalties to Clear Channel, which has trademarked them in it's corporate name:

• Arched mouseholes
• Desert Islands with a single palm tree
• Robbers with eye masks
• Prisoners with striped uniforms
• Disk-shaped "Flying Saucers"
• Light Bulbs over a character's head signifying an idea
• Birds, Stars, and spirals over a character's head signifying being stunned
  
• Asterisks, Pound Signs, Stars, Lightning Bolts, and other typeset characters signifying profanity
• Speed Lines
• "Stink" Squiggles
• Floating Hearts to signify love or affection
• "X'd" Eyes to signify dead or unconscious characters
• Clouds of Dust with arms and legs protruding to signify physical combat
• Asymmetrical "spinning" circles to signify running feet
• Bags with $ signs on them to signify "sacks of loot"
• Balls and Chains to signify anything
• Saguero Cacti to indicate a desert landscape
• Large domed openings in hillsides to indicate cave doorways
• Berets to indicate Frenchmen; Sombrero's to indicate Mexicans; Stetsons to indicate Cowboys; Toques to indicate Chefs; Eyeshades to indicate Accountants, Fedoras to indicate Gangsters, or Dunce Caps to indicate Idiots.
  

Clear Channel lawyers insist that violators of the corporation's trademark holdings will result in swift and severe legal action. Artists wishing to use any of these trademarked images can go to the company's website to download the appropriate payment and permission forms, though they are also advised to retain their own legal counsel to insure that their purchased right to use said images are properly processed, or, again; lawyers for Clear Channel warn that legal action will be taken.

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