Tuesday, August 01, 2006

Cathy Agonistes

Are plans in the works for a feature-length, animated, Big Budget Studio film version of "Cathy"? And, more importantly; is the world ready for it?

Mum's the word, apparently, amongst all who might be in the know. But, Tinsletown being what it is, what good is a secret if nobody knows what it is? Speculation is everywhere, like a spreading stain of spilled used car oil seeping into your $5,000 Persian hand-woven carpet. Buzz has it that our Cathy is going to be off on an exciting animated adventure, something befitting her status as whiniest, most insufferable, utterly annoying, pathetic and pitiful female cartoon character as measured by the latest Zogby Poll surveying comics readers across the lower 48. Someone on the inside has leaked out that it may be a "horror flick", though exactly what form this horror will take is unspecified. Undead Cathies and Irvings roaming the land hungering for living flesh in Night of the Living Cathies? Or perhaps a stray cloud of radioactive dust will give us The Incredible Shrinking Cathy, or by turns, Attack of the Fifty Foot Cathy? Or perhaps a blood-drinking Cathy-of-the-Night, a vampire a la Interview with the Cathy? Ooh. We're shivering in our booties. Any which way it turns out, we'll be sure to be left wanting even more Cathy; Cathy until we choke on it and die, that's what we say! Till next time...

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